Odds are you’ve made the rounds to plenty of people’s homes for parties, be it for a housewarming, the holidays, or other event. And, as you should know by now, a prime way to work your way into the party host’s good graces is to bring a little housewarming gift. Only what?

Allow me to fill you in. When it comes to parties, you name it, I’ve hosted it. Super Bowl? Every year, without fail. Triple Crown race? Twice, in fact, for 30 people each. New Year’s Day soirees, spring fling cocktail parties, Thanksgiving for 24 (two turkeys, seven pies), and even a Kentucky Derby/Cinco de Mayo combo.